You never know...

A full reusable Aldi's grocery bag sat unattended next to a pillar at the downtown bus hub.

A bus driver was the first to notice and actually question aloud why it sat there. None of the passengers nearby knew anything of the bag's ownership. The driver cautiously peered over the top of the bag. He couldn't figure it out. He went to seek a supervisor; two walked over to investigate, as I backed away.

The woman supervisor turned up the corners of her mouth, as if to say "beats me." The burly male supervisor gave his look see and then... Wait for it... He kicked the bag with his left boot. At this point the woman supervisor quickly went inside the hub building. She quickly returned with a 100lb very effeminate man full of apologies, who gallantly announced that the bag was his and contained a sewing machine. See?

Everyone seemed to exhale at the same time. I, however was thinking that the bus company might need a "Strange Parcel Seminar."

Evil Receipt

Today's Weirdness:

At the supermarket, the round, pleasant cashier rang up my; Hummas, Naan, Diet Iced Tea, and White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookie. The total came to $6.66 (666), and the cashier freaked. "Whooooa!" she said as she took a half step back from the register. She shook her head in disbelief and looked at me. It took me a couple seconds to figure out what was going on. I smiled the same smile I do when I am not sure if I am being hit upon, or sized up as someone's next murder victim. 

The cashier insisted I make another purchase to alter the total. "Would you like to buy a bag?" "Sure" (I had already planned to.)

"666? I should play that number tonight?" I gave her my "enough out of you" half smile. She looked offended but, I bid her a great afternoon anyway. 

Do you think I'm sexy?

*To set the scene: Your hero has been killing a Saturday about the mall. He has only come to look, and now he is tired. He sits on a bench for fifteen seconds, when two male humans in transition? enter stage left.

They are wearing lots of makeup. There is room on the bench for a dozen yet, they sit extremely close (almost touching) to me.

The one closest to me has his/her rabbit fur jacket back to me.

The following conversation ensues:

1st trans. : Aw, he mad handsome...

2nd trans.: You don't want that!

1st trans.: You don't think he cute? I think he's really hot.

2nd trans.: (Tilts head and looks past 1st trans. at me)
Honey that bitch be mad old... What you want, a sugar daddy? (cackles a studio audience laugh)

1st trans.: Maybe, I don't know.

*Your hero casually stands as if it never happened, and quickly ducked into Brooks Brothers, a universal safe space.