Things I saw and learned while grocery shopping yesterday:
1. A nearly completely toothless woman mocked a college student because he was wearing pink chino shorts. "Hey, tootie-fruity: What, don't you know if you are a boy or a girl wearing those pink shorts?" The student looked confused. I imagine he, was thinking as I was, "WTF lady? Get a mirror!" BTW, the student was actually quite stylish.
2. A man with no bottom teeth to speak of mocked me by saying "I bet you went to college." He then asked where I lived. He reeked of several days of sweat and I backed quickly away. He followed and told me of a market across town with "ethnic food." He apparently likes jowls and believed I should too.
3. "If you can get into the spandex, wear it!" seems to be the Syracuse mantra. If you listen closely you can hear butts weep.
4. "Ritz Crackers" boxes are now almost half the size at the same price. What a gip!
5. With very little effort you can put $40. of groceries in one reuseable bag. Sad, but true.
6. Always, and I mean I always arrive home without the main two items I went for. In this case, mayo and sugar. I went out again and spent nearly $8. for the two items at a store a few blocks away.
7. Polite people get the worst roasts. Apparently, old women will indeed hip-check you to get at the best meats.
8. Even if people look really mean, they are probably the ones who need a friendly "hello" the most. It can be amazing how you can transform a mood. Do it!
9. "SALE" really means "We Want You To Believe It Is A Sale." Half the time nowadays it is not really a sale.
10. A power nap after shopping is very cleansing.
