I can see clearly now

It's Friday and I am outfitted with new glasses. On Tuesday, I had the eye exam and on Wednesday I went to select frames. I am almost embarrassed to admit that my selection of frames were somewhat limited. They were limited because I have a large round bald head. Go ahead and laugh if you must. It is not necessary for you to feel my pain.

As I waited to be served I noticed a young hip guy on a poster. Hey, I'm young and hip? Some say, I was never either of those things but, they would be wrong. Anywho, the nice young gal (old man talk, I know) finally found the frames from the poster. I tried them on and voila. They were all wrong. The sales woman's expression was priceless. I could not quite tell if she was suppressing a belly laugh or if she had thrown up in her mouth just a little. I stepped over to the mirror. There I stood looking exactly like an old dude trying to look like a young dude. The frames were too square and the contrast with my circular noggin was more than should be aesthetically borne. Moving right along.

"Perhaps you might fine this section more suitable," she told me. "Oh is this where the elephant man gets his glasses," I thought? I tried a few pairs. They did not cause an instant headache by gripping the sides of my head too much. And, then I found them. I found the glasses I was looking for two years ago when I got new ones. They fit well and looked even better. I turned towards the sales woman who beamed similarly to those who receive great value from there work. "Yes, those are perfect!" I checked the mirror again. I felt like that kid with the one big shoe who finally gets a pair of pants long enough to hide it.

"Your prescription suggests bifocals but, your insurance only covers glasses which are lined bifocals and not unlined," she said. "You're kidding me?" After dancing around the absurdity of the vision plan and weighing the possibility of going about with lined bifocals at my age, I made the only sensible choice. I will look over my new single vision glasses when I need to read much like my old art teacher who I used to mock. I am sure there is some lesson or moral there but, who gives a crap. I heard the woman at the counter say the word "hot" as I walked out.

Green with Irony

The sullen and jaded Les believes that many parts of the "Green" movement are a bunch of phooey or hooey. He often wonders aloud about the process and production of green materials. Jaded Les however concedes that green products more times than not are kinder to the environment, but is the process kind?

Submitted for your evaluation... A non-profit organization here has a program that is dedicated to making the homes of older Americans more energy efficient. This agency conducts some sort of an "energy audit," and advises as well as offers assistance to older folks to bring their homes to acceptable levels of usage. During my mother's audit it was discovered that her 15 year old refrigerator - freezer has been gobbling up far too much energy. The organization offered to replace the old side-by-side with a brand spanking new one. How could the old gal decline? The new model was delivered around 2:00p.m. yesterday afternoon. The old monster's doors as well as the front door of the house had to be removed to get the thing out. After about an hour and one broken glass candle holder later, the new fridge was in place gleaming white in all it's efficiency.

The part that first confused and then got Les' dander up was; during that entire hour the movers left the 20ft truck that they had came in parked in front of the house with the engine running.