The Hills have thighs

Speaking of television, how are you supposed to tell which of the half dozen or so vapid blonds on The Hills is which?

I saw The Hills for the first time last week. That guy on The Soup always makes fun of the show. The Hills was unbelievable! I do not believe I have ever seen anything so bad, ever, ever. It was so badly acted, sadly written, poorly cast and not even a train wreck. A train wreck would have had interesting elements. I was amazed. I kept waiting for something to happen like maybe Allen Funt suddenly appearing and telling everyone to smile, or perhaps an alien popping out of Spencer Pratt’s hair or something, anything. I watched a couple more episodes out of curiosity and in a vain attempt at figuring it all out. I understand that this show has been on the air for 2 or 3 years. How? Even pre-adolescents must be insulted. It’s amazing. It’s directed as if it is an actually a real show. Somebody please tell me what I am actually missing here. I do realize that I am not getting something because the mess has a spin off called The City and yet another called Kell on Earth or some such truck. The City is the same crap as The Hills only a different locale and Kell on Earth is just another odd “reality” show about being 20 and someone’s bitch or rather assistant. Both Hills and City need several rewrites just to be classified as stupid in my opinion.


Help me out here. What am I not getting?

I fully realize that I am not super smart. I suppose if there’s smart, I’m actually Kmart smart. But, I can usually figure out friggin’ TV. One of my favorite things to do is to tune into Univision. Then with a Spanish/English dictionary at the ready, I can figure out 98-99% of what’s going on. Very often with the sound muted I make up my own story lines complete with jokes that are responded to by the laugh track in my head. I thank teachers and a school system that extruded me way back when elective courses were in their infancy. I digress. My point is that I can’t figure out what the heck The Hills is supposed to be about.