All before 8:00a.m.

Here are just a few situations and observances that I have noticed this morning.

One.

I would actually like to try a Hazelnut Macchiato, but I cannot bring myself to saying those words out loud.

Two.

In the past week I have passed three different guys wearing short short spandex shorts as clothing. Pushing the envelope is one thing; seeing what’s in the envelope is horribly unnecessary.

Three.

A Testimonial:
I purchased a “treat” last evening, Sugar-Free cookies. Geez, after the first bite I checked the package ingredients to see if both sand and dirt were included. The absurdity of it all made me laugh and then cough and the rest is why I use Tide.

Four.

A Laptop, two cell phones, an iPad, a fancy charger pad, an even fancier iced coffee thingy and he appeared to only pretend to work. Oh wait, he has a call and he’s going to be on FB later. As well, he’s considering a new BMW. He also curses as my grandmother would say “like a drunken sailor”.

Five.

In the park someone has constructed a fort from old blankets and available bushes. I left a big bag of grapes at the front door.

Six.

I boldly assisted two undergrads with direction to studies of beauty symmetry. How? Why” Because those who can do and those who can’t teach.

Seven.

While attempting to adjust my collar, I managed to give myself a really hard uppercut. 

It's going to be a great day!

Loud Mouths

For sometime I have been keeping mental notes about cell phone users. I mean cell phone users in public places. There are several types, you know? They are all entirely too loud. Most do not realize what a personal call is. They do not realize that "personal call" means between them and the other person(s) on the line. What they have to talk about while at times entertaining is really none of my business. Feel free to add to my list in the comment area. Also note that the quotes here are actual things that I have over heard. Here goes:

1. The Popular Guy - This guy is not necessarily popular but he wants you to think that he is. He smiles a lot while talking and visually scans the area to see who is actually listening. His conversations get funnier the "better" his captive audience. He is the type that might suggest that he was wanted for the new "Boys Gone While" video but he turned them down because he did not want to embarrass the other dudes. I actually heard one such popular guy say, " yeah, I did them both... the sister was kind of nasty."

2. The Gossip - This guy or gal will talk about anyone and everyone at anytime and loudly. I actually heard one young woman say, "oh, I heard he got out on Wednesday. She went to pick him up in dem ugly-ass Payless shoes..."

3. The Braggart - The Braggart is not to be confused with the Popular Guy although they can often be one in the same. The Braggart usually brags about a lot of stuff that no one believes or cares about. This usually involves women with something in their eye who he believed was winking at him. -can also involve alcohol. "dude, I musta had 25, no 33 shots last night and I wasn't hung over this morning."

4. Speaker Phone Gal - The speaker-phone is on and the other person is as loud as f**k! They do not know they are on speak phone or that an entire bus load of annoyed people can hear them. "He was 'bout to go to sleep and I told that bastard I didn't have anough."

5. Oblivious Bad Criminal - These two quotes can explain them. "dude, you know where I can get an 1/8 of 'cookies'" or " I almost got it... I'll give it to you. I need to get that gun tonight."

6. Booty Call Pavers - This is usually a young guy who awkwardly tries to set up a booty call for later on. "Thanks for comin' to visit me the other night. I have so much fun with you. I get off work at nine tonight..."

7. The Mumblers and the Grunters - You can't really tell what the heck they are talking about. As I said, they mumble and grunt. It is oh so annoying like when the radio is too low or your country uncle visits and talks about the old days.

8. Middle Aged Guy - This guy is still amazed by the technology. He keeps removing the phone from his ear and staring at it in amazement. He still can't believe there's no wire. He usually says good-bye at least three times followed up with, "she hung up."

-know any others?