A New Shirt for Les or ... Less

Two things you have probably already learned about me from reading here is that, I read a lot (some might say too much) and I am frugal (some might say a cheapskate). When I can combine activities that satisfy both those basic needs, whoopee!

Among other genre, I read men's fashion magazines. While reading one such publication earlier in the week I came across a $25.00 off coupon from a well know department store. Possessing a rather lengthy list of retail disappoints in my life, I read the coupon carefully three times. It was true. The coupon was for the store's men's department only and was not one of those blank dollar off a greater dollar amount like, $25.000 off $100.00 or more as I first thought. This coupon clearly stated that it was for $25.00 off period. So, as long as I purchased one cent or more, I could use the coupon. Any unused portion would of course be forfeited. Naturally so, no one is going to pay you to take merchandise away even in this economy. The only slight down side here was that I could not use the coupon for cologne or socks, both of which I really need.

Friday night I made my way to probably the ugliest and largest mall I have ever or hope to see. An architectural embarrassment, the structure looks like a giant white prison. After driving what seemed like at least a half mile to a side of the mall, there I was at the store's entrance. I walked in an within sixty seconds was asked by two very attractive women if I would help them select a rain coat for the brunette. No, they did not believe that I worked there. The white coat was the nicest. The tan one looked very much like one my mother owns but, let's not go there. Believe it or not the women offered to take me for a drink as a thank you for my help. "No thanks," incredibly hot ladies, I have a coupon to spend! I made my way to the second floor and eventually to the men's department.

Around and around the department I went and it seemed that the only items approved by the coupon that were $25.00 or less were neck ties and three shirts in my size hanging on a discounted rack. Yes, yes I do realize that I could have applied the coupon to an item greater than $25.00 but, I was a tad annoyed that they did not seem to have any items that were less than $39.99. I felt a little tricked.

While the floor plan and displays were cleaner and more eye-catching, the quality of the merchandise was not any better than that you might purchase from stores this one would consider their lesser. Not bad stuff at all, just a bit over-priced. I imagine I must have roughly 75-100 neck ties so, the choice of a shirt seemed to have been made for me. The choices were; a white one, a celery one and a black one. They were all button up dress shirts. The white one and the celery one carried the store's label and the black one was Ralph Lauren. If all else fails wear black! The Lauren shirt was a perfect fit and it's tag claimed a regular price of $58.50 and was marked down to $19.99. I then stood at the register for far too long before a salesperson appeared.

The funny part here and there is always a funny part is, that the sales dude tried to convince me that because of the $5.00 difference between the shirt and the coupon, I should keep the coupon for another time. "Here, I'll give you a 20% off coupon to use," he said as if my IQ was a few points shy of 75. Hmmm, I wondered aloud..., "20% off or free?" Never missing an opportunity for sarcasm, I offered, "while that was a remarkably generous offer you have just put forth, I'll take free!" He seemed very disappointed when I added that I would and could forfeit the $5.00 difference as per the coupon. I almost pranced to the car.

I suppose from a marketing perspective the store got what they wanted; a new customer who would not have otherwise come to their store and who walked out with merchandise. I will definitely check next month's magazine issue for another coupon in the very real possibility that the store does not see it's folly.

Random food and shopping thoughts.

After an absolutely beautiful weekend weather wise today is very very gloomy. It started raining last night and is expected to continue through to tonight. Sorry, old guys talk about the weather. I am so ready for summer.

I woke up late and rushed and made it out on time. It's ten o'clock and I still feel as if I just woke up. I had a Milkyway for breakfast. I have got to do better with that. Just thinking aloud.

Speaking of food, we were talking about food weren't we? I have been far more conscience of what I put into my mouth lately. I am also a bit peeved with my two local supermarkets, Wegmans and Pricechopper. Both are great stores but both have taken to charging 2 or 3 times (as per unit prices) for smaller items. For instance, a small anything may cost as much as three times as for a large. So, what happens is that being the cheap poor guy that I am, I end up buying large everything. This often results in eating more of something than I want and or throwing half away. Like Saturday night: I made a medium pizza with pepperoni, yeah from scratch ya schmo. I had two slices Saturday and two on Sunday and the rest will probably end up in the garbage. I had a salad last night but, before that I tossed a half head of bib lettuce and some squishy tomatoes and cucumbers as well as what my best guess were once mushrooms. There is homemade apple sauce I made on Saturday which will also go bye bye soon. I hate throwing food out and while I have no problem with leftovers I do not want to eat the same thing for three or four days in a row. Blah, blah, blah. I certainly understand the economics of the market offering single serving sizes at three times the cost but... I guess I should just shut up or eat more or find someone to eat with each night. Oh, I think I will just shut up.

While we're on random thoughts... When did washers and dryers become the size of refrigerator's? And can I take a sauna on the dryer steam setting?

Speaking of my stroll through Sears. They were selling several digital cameras as is without paper work for $39.99. Some were even 12 mega-pixels. The cameras were not in their original packaging but rather zip-lock type plastic baggies. I looked through the pile a bit perplexed. The salesman did not offer assistance but, rather stood off to the right ready to pounce should I decide to steal the worthless crap. I finally asked for assistance. I asked the obvious; where's the paper work, how do you learn to use the things etc.? All I know is they don't have any papers, he mumbled. It was as if his wife had forced him to sell the things in the family garage sale and he really loved them. Now, lets get this straight, there are no instructions, no idea why they are in baggies or what might be wrong with them and you want $39.99 for them, no returns. Why, that's a great deal ...if I were actually as dumb as I looked.

I tried on a v-neck summer sweater at JCPenny. The saleswoman told me that it was definitely the color for me. It was raspberry. I'm not sure what that means?

I was in my favorite thrift store yesterday and happened across a tie (still with it's original certificate of authenticity) from the Vatican store for 50 cents. How cool is that? It's navy with a bit of gold. The certificate states that the proceeds from the tie sale went to the Vatican Library. (...don't get me started on that) Now, don't judge. It could be worse. I could be obsessed with pork rinds or crack.

I brought a bottle of lotion at the drug store yesterday that is unscented but, smells like cucumbers. I like cucumbers but, I've got enough problems.

This concludes my random food and shopping thoughts. Now, how am I going to spend the next ten minutes?