Market watch...

So, I select five small on the vine tomatoes at a local Tops market. I take them to the only digital scale which does not work. The produce dude and the manager, plug and unplug the thing, which has no on/off switch... Nothing.

I look around for those hanging produce scales. "They took them out," produce dude tells me.

I put them in my basket. At the counter, the young lady rings them up. The price is $6.90, for five small tomatoes. Dah fuk? I tell the young woman that I don't want them, and apologize like those memes suggest Canadians do. She acts like I asked for her last kidney. I explain about the lack of weighing devices.

She then placed a gallon of skim in a bag that was completely split, end to end. Because I was sent from the future to screw up her day, I asked that she re-bag the milk. She handed me a bag to complete the task myself. I couldn't get the bag open. She finally handed me an opened bag, as she and the cashier from the next lane smiled at each other. I guess I am funny without trying.

In addition, they over-charged me for the bread that I accidentally left on the counter in my attempt to get out of their as quickly as possible. 

I know they aren't Wegmans, but they could and should at least try.

Grocery Madness

When I state that I fear for this nation in the hands of the young, I mean it.

On the way home tonight, I stopped at a grocery store. I needed milk and bananas but, I noticed that there was a sale on pasta sauce; five large jars for only $5.00. A great buy so, I added the jars to my cart and headed to checkout.

Of course, it was my luck today to get new girl who already hates her job, rather than either of the two fun loving high school dudes who love reminding me that I am old by raising their voices a couple octaves to call me "Sir".

Yeah, this one was sour an stupid... I had to walk three blocks up that great hill to the house. I therefore asked that she place a paper bag inside the plastic one, to prevent an accident involving glass and tomato sauce on a neighbor's sidewalk.

Here's the hard part: For the life of this poor cashier girl, she could not understand what I mean by "place a paper bag inside the plastic one." She began by handing me the paper bag, to which I repeated my request. Then she tried simply leaning the bag to one side inside the plastic bag. No, no. "Yeah, open the bag and then put it in" I offered while gesturing wildly.  She now looked confused and angry. She placed the opened paper bag the opposite direction as the plastic, creating a cross if you were looking over the top of the mess. "It won't fit" she offered in frustration. I looked to the two goobers behind me in line. "Yeah, it is just you" their glares suggested. The store security dude winked to let me know he felt my pain. The cashier out of frustration handed be both bags. "Do it yourself, asshole" her eyes offered. So, I did.

I made my way to the house. It was now after seven and I had only crackers for lunch more than six hours earlier. After emptying the bag, I looked at the receipt only to discover she had over-changed me roughly four bucks. She had charged me the regular price and not the sale price for the jars of pasta sauce.

Out of friggin principle I returned to the store for my dang four bucks! I went to the same cashier, waited in line and she told me that she couldn't help me; I had to go to the service desk. There, I waited in line for twenty minutes. The service desk matron was pleasant although, I had to do the math for her.

It is now 8:36p.m., I am in bed and will not get out of here until tomorrow.

Stay in school kids.  

Ten Things I learned and Saw While Grocery Shopping

I have not written in this format for a couple months. I have been gardening and enjoying the summer. I hope you have been doing the same! Yesterday, I made the lengthy trip (ten miles) to the grocery store and...


Things I saw and learned while grocery shopping yesterday:


1. A nearly completely toothless woman mocked a college student because he was wearing pink chino shorts. "Hey, tootie-fruity: What, don't you know if you are a boy or a girl wearing those pink shorts?" The student looked confused. I imagine he, was thinking as I was, "WTF lady? Get a mirror!" BTW, the student was actually quite stylish.

2. A man with no bottom teeth to speak of mocked me by saying "I bet you went to college." He then asked where I lived. He reeked of several days of sweat and I backed quickly away. He followed and told me of a market across town with "ethnic food." He apparently likes jowls and believed I should too.

3. "If you can get into the spandex, wear it!" seems to be the Syracuse mantra. If you listen closely you can hear butts weep.

4. "Ritz Crackers" boxes are now almost half the size at the same price. What a gip!

5. With very little effort you can put $40. of groceries in one reuseable bag. Sad, but true.

6. Always, and I mean I always arrive home without the main two items I went for. In this case, mayo and sugar. I went out again and spent nearly $8. for the two items at a store a few blocks away.

7. Polite people get the worst roasts. Apparently, old women will indeed hip-check you to get at the best meats.

8. Even if people look really mean, they are probably the ones who need a friendly "hello" the most. It can be amazing  how you can transform a mood. Do it!

9. "SALE" really means "We Want You To Believe It Is A Sale." Half the time nowadays it is not really a sale.

10. A power nap after shopping is very cleansing.