Wrong-Aid

Yesterday, as I walked along around two in the afternoon, I remembered that earlier that morning I had dropped off two prescriptions at a Rite Aid Pharmacy down the hill from the house. The sky was overcast and I was glad that I had my umbrella. I walked at a steady clip in that I wanted to avoid getting caught in the rain. In my right hand, I carried the umbrella and a small bag which contained a bad of Starlight Mints. I had purchased the mints a few blocks back at the Dollar Store. That small bag was twisted as to remove most of the air and fit neatly in my palm. The umbrella dangled from its strap from my pinky finger.

As I entered the Rite Aid Pharmacy store, I continued at the same pace as I had outdoors and made no stops, but went directly to the pharmacy “Pick Up” window. There was a short line in front of that station. There was also a patient at the window receiving service and one in front of me in line. The woman in front of me cooed an infant who apparently was named, “Profit.” My brain quickly pondered whether the mother was deeply religious and or a great fan of capitalism. I was distracted from Profit by what was next transpired.

The pharmacy at this particular Rite Aid location is situated in the back corner of the store. The counter forms kind of a backwards L with the “Pick-Up” counter/window covering the short part of the letter and the “Drop-Off” counter/window at the very end of the long part. As an aside, in third grade I was taught the names of these two parts of the Letter L, but like so much from that simpler time, I cannot recall. As I have stated, my thoughts concerning the motivation of naming a child Profit were interrupted. That interruption took the form of the chubby security man hopping onto the “Drop-Off” window counter to my right. My OCD brain had immediate issues with his big butt sitting on a Pharmacy counter. He stared and I stared back. I assumed that he was staring because he had not quite gotten my mental telepathic message “Get your filthy arse off that counter.” Unfortunately, that was not why he was staring. He was staring because something about me said to him that I had or was going to steal from that store. I don’t know… Maybe, I walked too swiftly when I came in to the store? Maybe, because I had a small bag in my hand when I came into the store? Maybe, it was the tie and starched shirt or the glasses or the blackness or the stupidity of the security man? Perhaps, it was some of these things or all of these things or others that I know nothing about. Never mind that I don’t steal. Never mind that I have never had so much as an overdue library book, that day I fit some moron’s profile of a store thief. I fit that profile so well that the store manager came over and went inside the pharmacy area and also casually stared at me and then she finally made an annoyed look and then left to return to her work (I assume).

Once I realized what was going on, I continued to stare in an attempt to make this fool twice as uncomfortable as he had made me. Finally, he whispered audibly enough for me to hear (to the pharmacist) “Watch this guy.” The pharmacist looked over at me with an expression which suggested he had been told a joke which he did not get. I stared back and the Pharmacist looked away. The security man then hopped down and walked quickly away.


I waited my turn and received great customer service from the Pharmacy Assistant. I thanked her and headed for the door. When I reached the mat of the front door, to the right of me I heard “he’s leaving.”


I looked up at their logo and shook my head "Rite Aid: With Us It's Personal."