MY DAMN KEYS!

“I want my damn key. You think this is FUNNY? I’ll come over there and slap yo face, you asshole. Oh, I guess you on to da next bitch so, I don’t matter? I don’t care nothin’ ‘bout her. I just want my key. WTF do you mean, get the landlord to get me in? Why should I pay him when you got my keys? We broke up so, you shouldn’t even be havin’ my keys. Never mind, I lost my set… you need to give me my keys back!

He hung up on me, the bastard. Can you believe he hung up on me?”

(She dials again)

“I’m on the bus asshole and you laughin’ like somethins funny. What, I want? I want to come where you are and get my damn keys. Where you at? You at that bitches house? I’ll call her what I want. I’m near Brighton now. Should I get off and walk over so you can give me my keys? No, I am not goin’ pay to have the landlord let me in. LISTEN, my wallet, insurance cards and all my personal stuff is in there, I need my keys. Yes, it is your problem because we ain’t together no more and you should give me my keys back. HE FUCKIN” hung up!

Ooooh, somethin’ bad gonna happen. Somethin’ bad gonna happen!”

(She redials)

“I need my keys! Where can I come? I am almost to my street. What am I supposed to do, just stand outside all night or break in to my own place? Look, all my stuff is in there and I need to get into my house. Not your problem, not your problem! Who gave you the money for that car? Who brought you clothes and gave you a place to stay? Now, you on to the next bitch and I don’t even matter. I just need you to give me my keys back.”

She starts to weep uncontrollably and the passenger next to her tries to console her. She pled with her to calm down. The upset woman starts to hyperventilate but, the helpful passenger intervenes telling her to “breathe baby.” She manages to calm herself and the intervening passenger tells her that she lives nearby and invites her over. She tells her that she will give her something cool to drink and then help her figure out what she should do. The upset woman’s wailing is now a childish whimper. After a few moments…

(She redials)

“He hung up!”

(She redials)

“Now don’t hang up,” she states calmly. “I just want to meet up with you to get my keys. But, it is your problem because you shouldn’t have a copy of my keys at this point. Why are you doing me like this? LOOK, I’M TIRED OF MESSING AROUND WITH YOU! I WANT MY DAMN KEYS. Oh you gonna slap me cause I raised my voice to you? I’ll slap you back too.” He hangs up on her once again. She is now out of her seat screaming at the entire bus but at no one in particular. She is frustrated. Her intellect and emotions are no match for her cruel ex-boyfriend. She is so hysterical that she is gagging in between wailing and shouting incoherently. The intervening passenger woman rises and gets her seated and tries her best to calm her.

This went on for three miles. I sat directly in front of the screaming woman. I was petrified. All sorts of thoughts went through my head as a direct result of watching too much action TV. I’ve seen too many innocent victims bite it in the movies and on TV to fully understand that I could easily be one. I was seriously frightened. I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I got up and walked to the front of the bus. I told the driver that while I was one and one half miles from home and even though it was 92 degrees out, I would rather walk. He apologized twice.

As I walked along the boiling heat and humidity seemed refreshing.