A Brazilian what?

Last night it was too cold to do anything other than veg. I found myself mesmerized by a show named, "Dr. 90210." If you haven't seen it, the show's about plastic surgery. Dr. 90210 is about as pretty and metrosexual as an adult male should be allowed. He's buff and tanned with what most consider a great sense of humor. Being the jacka** I am, I felt a great urge to punch him in the neck and I'm not even a violent person.

Anywho, there were three different patients in this week's episode. The most interesting was the woman who was so dissatisfied with her own bum that she wanted it "inflated," and lifted. she stated that she had done every thing she could to affect this monumental problem. She had tried all sorts of exercises at the gym and her prospects of lifting and plumping her bum were in vain. Dr. Funny-Handsome-Guy to the rescue! During the consultation it was discovered that she wanted, dare I say needed a "Brazilian Butt." A what, you ask? Me too. The best I could tell was that this Brazilian butt thingy is the latest in desired perfect arses. It has just the right amounts of plump and pertness. I'm still a little confused in that for my entire life I have had a "Black Butt," and I was led to believe that there was none better. -Not my arse in particular but, the black butt in general.

I guess I have to move my black butt over, the Brazilian Butt is in town. So, back to the consultation... The doctor tells the woman (Opps, I just remembered that this was a different doctor now.) during the consult that she was too thin and she needed to gain ten pounds. Why? She needed to gain ten pounds so the doctor could extract it from her belly and re-inject it into her butt. This is what he did. The injection made a big lump which the doctor smoothed and shaped as desired. Voila, a Brazilian Butt. Her boyfriend stool off in the distance looking as giddy as a third grade boy to hearing his first poop joke. He was so pleased that at the end of the show as he welded up in tears, he asked the woman with the new Brazilian Butt to be his wife... she accepted. I guess I am to assume that this might not have happened had she not filled her bum with belly fat?

The whole thing kind of made me a bit sad. I took a mirror in to the bathroom and for the first time I felt that my black butt just wasn't enough. Not.