Ignorance is loud

At one bus stop a 40-ish intoxicated black man (not me) boarded the bus. At the next stop a 70 -ish bearded man boarded. The bearded man stood near were the drunk was seated, which was next to me.

Drunk Dude: You a jew, ain't you?

Bearded Dude: (Chuckled) Why yes. Did the beard give it away?

Drunk Dude: Orthodox right?

Bearded Dude: Yes, I am...

Drunk Dude: See, I knew that shit 

Bearded Dude: Excuse me?

Drunk Dude: I bet you didn't know that black people are the real jews. Real jews are dark, you real white.

Bearded Dude: (Chuckles) Yes, I realize that biblical Jews were of darker skin...  Well, my mother is Norwegian.

Drunk Dude: If you know that you ain't no real jew, why you goin around pretendin?

*A seat quickly opened at the front of the bus. The orthodox jewish man was steaming. Even with his glasses, mask, and beard you could tell he was livid.

Drunk Dude: See that, they get mad when you tell the truth.

Elderly Church Lady: I hear you bother, the Bible tells a different story.

The lady and drunk dude continued to talk about; the bible, Black Jesus, and the fact that she reminded him of his late "Rest her soul" great-grandmother.

*It took every ounce of control I had to not tell them to STFU!

😥

Trick or Treat...

 

A true story...

This childhood tale just popped into my head as I was washing dishes...

It was Halloween when I was 4 or 5 years old, and as my mother was leaving for a meeting she reminded my father to set up things for Halloween. My dad was watching a Western movie and not really paying much attention. He continued watching his movie, and about a half hour later the doorbell rang. I peaked through the curtain and saw four kids older than myself in costumes.

My dad quickly opened the door and angrily stared down at the kids. He bellowed at them about showing up the day before Halloween! The kids started crying as dad continued to scolding them. He was still yelling as they ran away. He turned off the outside lights and went back to his movie.

When my mother returned, she asked dad why there was so much candy left? He told her about those "greedy" kids. She looked at him perplexed and said, "Honey, tonight's Halloween."

Aisle Eleven

I've been looking for a headphone/microphone splitter adapter and, was in a grocery store that used to have a small electronic section. I didn't see that section and asked an assistant manager who was chatting with another employee.

Me: Excuse me, I was looking for your electronic gadget section. It used to be right over there.

Asst. Mgr.: No, we don't have nothing like that. What were you looking for.

Me: Well, you used to have adapters and cords over there.

Asst. Mgr.: Oh, a cord? That's right over at the end of aisle 11. (Speaks very slowly) That's actually called hardware here. Hard. Ware. (He smiles as you might to someone you suspect isn't all there.)

Me: (I stared for a couple seconds thinking, "This mofo actually believes that the word hardware is new to me?")

Asst. Mgr.: How about I walk you over there?

Me: Thanks. I can find it.

*Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that the assistant manager and the other employee were laughing. I guess you make your own fun? 🙄