You are probably Not the father...

This episode of people behaving badly...

A little confusing, but follow along. A couple on the bus was arguing loudly as their restless two year old looked on. The thin guy demanded the cell phone from his very large woman. He quickly flipped through her pics while muttering "I wanta know why _____ here look just like yo other n***a you had with that dude?"

The woman denied any resemblance. "She do Not look like _____." The angry dude finds the pic he is looking for, and holds the camera next to the innocent child. The woman behind me whispers to her friend next to her "I wish I had some popcorn."

Again, the mother denies any resemblance, but even less convincingly than before. The guy is still angry, but calm, as he disagrees with the woman. Maury Povich pops in my head.

Suddenly, the child jumps from the seat to the floor, and races to the back of the bus. I could here a voice somewhere behind me say "I know, baby, I know."

Worst Mother of the Year...

And, the "Mother of the Year" award goes to...

A young woman on the bus had three children in tow, the oldest was about 3yrs old. All three were in various stages of meltdowns... They were screaming and kicking the back of my seat. I did not turn around. What good could come of appearing to place personal comfort above empathy?

I see self important folks like that all the time, and I don't wish to be them, but damn! I was in no mood. I normally take the express bus south; it takes the expressway while skipping over a couple miles of city stops. Frankly, the express bus has fewer passengers, and far less colorful, rowdy people.

From my stop across from the hospital I can see the expressway on-ramp. On four other occasions within the last 30 days (this day making the fifth), the driver has simply skipped my stop, and gotten on the expressway. I suspect only because bus routes are carefully monitored, the driver realizing her error has gotten off the expressway, and circled back to pick me up. While this made me wait in the sun for an extra fifteen minutes or so, it is the last express bus of the day going my, and I would have to walk the half mile to the bus hub downtown to take a regular route madness bus.

This day, again I watched the driver skip my stop. I waited twenty minutes in the blazing sun of 90°F heat, and then angrily walked downtown. Once there, I waited 35 minutes to board a packed bus of characters; a drunk lady with no bottom teeth trying to kiss a drunk dandy, several drained souls who clearly had had enough for one day, very loud people conversing about nothing, a teen with a giant mohawk and t-shirt which read "Straight Outta The Closet," a couple other teens visibly disturbed by that shirt, and of course, The Worst Mother of the year seated behind me.

I am sure that I bristled and stared out of the window. I may have tried to say a little prayer as the dandy in front of me tried to fend off a slobbery kiss. The kicking and screaming behind me caught my attention... It was then that the mother screamed at her children "If y'alls don't shut the fuck up, um gonna punch all y'alls... Dead. In. Yo. Shit!"

The entire bus seemed to gasp and look away. I imagine people were thinking "If that's what she has for her own children..."

I most certainly understand the results of poverty, early parenting, and a failed educational system, but those children don't stand a chance at anything other than replication of a life of misery. By children I included the 20 year old mother.

SUITS

Below is the text of a letter I sent to a very recent college graduate regarding personal choices and business attire:

Kid:
I just wanted to take a little time to clarify a few points concerning clothing and our interactions.

For at least forty years I have been following classic men's dress and casual clothing. I have researched ,watched, and learned. Trends come and go, but the rules of classic men's clothing have remained the same. When I offer what I know, it is good counsel based on my experiences. No, not just opinion, but based on good information.

I would be remiss if I did not tell you that your approach to corporate business attire is odd to me. You seem to believe that your new corporation gives a Fuk if you are extra or hot. You seem to be gravitating towards styles that more so reveal your personality, rather than corporate culture.

When one is hired by any organization, one (in return for compensation) agrees to first and foremost forward the brand of that organization. Certainly, your own personal brand factors in there somewhere, but the bottom line is that you agree to be who They want you to be. If their brand isn't something you can agree with you move on to an environment that is more in line with that which is acceptable to you. 

That said, there are basic business attire rules, most of which are honed or even perverted by particular organizations. Conservative attire is probably the best place to start with your organization. As I suggested a couple times prior to your internship, you should have used part of your time there to study what others wear. They already know that you can do the job, they want to know if you can fit in, move up etc.. In order, to get ahead they need to believe that you are one of them. They need to believe that you both understand and accept their culture. 

As I said yesterday, look at what your bosses wear, and go from there. This is more so a uniform than an expression of personal tastes. Personal tastes can only be reflected within your organization's identity.

More pointedly, your choice of a black suit paired with brown shoes is not classic professional attire, it is indeed trendy. I would be asking myself, "Am I really going to work at a trendy organization?" Does a trendy style forward my own personal brand as it aligns with my employers? If you can't answer an emfactic yes, I might rethink my choices. Sure, your company may not go ape shit with your initial trendy choices, but trust me, they won't give you long to catch up. 

Further, I wanted to suggest to you that in particular, Facebook and Instagram both have hundreds of accounts and groups devoted to classic dress clothing. I follow at least a couple dozen of these individuals and groups. They all post daily, offer ideas, and there are dozens of people willing to field and offer great answers/direction to sartorial problems. I cannot stress enough that how you present yourself is greatly important to achieving your goals, and controlling your brand, how you are perceived.

As always, I hope that I have been of great help.

As an aside, we don't need to argue over these or any other points. I do my best to offer you great useful information; if they are contrary to your rational thoughts, reject them. It's not a matter of right or wrong-ness. It's about taking good information and making the best choices that you can based on those choices.

-Les