Thursday, April 14, 2016

Clumsy

Today's episode of:
"Lifestyles of the Clumsy."

I stopped in the drugstore for an Arizona iced tea. They were BOGO. I set them on the counter, and one can escaped by seemingly jumping  to the floor. The college girl behind me kindly reached down to pick it up, the can slightly exploded spraying her in her face. "It's spraying," she muttered in a mousy voice.

I probably should have been more embarrassed than I was.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Wet Dream

Last night I woke up screaming. All that I can recall is, in my nightmare I was being chased, once caught, I screamed for dear life and peed myself.

As I awoke from my nightmare, I realized I was actually peeing. I jumped out of bed with the top sheet and blankets tangled about my feet. I fell awkwardly forward crashing my right shoulder into the wall.

I just stayed there for several minutes waiting for death. It did not come so, I showered, changed and removed, and replaced the bedding.

I then sat down on the left side of the bed. As I lifted my lower body to get under the covers, the blanket snagged a full mug of tea that I had placed on the nightstand into bed with me. Have you ever been too tired and frustrated to even cry? This wasn't my moment. The wet basket of mail on the floor is what sent me over the edge.

I have been in a bad mood all day.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

"Religious" Differences

A black woman in her mid-50's smiled at an elderly black woman seated with a walker before her. The older woman, I would judge to be in her very late seventies or early eighties. The young woman stated that the older (dressed in a matching faux zebra hat and scarf) looked very familiar.

They had never met, but both had lived in this city more than forty years, and were originally from Florida. They eagerly and politely shared tales of home and what brought them to Syracuse. The refined elderly woman had moved to be closer to family and continued her career as a Social Worker. The younger woman, whose hair was tied loosely in an old scarf, shared "We came because my momma was on the run from her husband. Other than that I don't know how we ended up in this cold?"

A rough looking black dude also sat in the bus' front section drinking in their conversation. At this point he was invisible to the chatty women.

As they enjoyed themselves, there conversation turned to religion. Both women had apparently visited several churches before finding their current church home. They traded names of ministers and parishioners creating greater familiarity. They were making friends until.

The rough looking dude rudely injected himself into the conversation. He yelled at the older woman, demanding that she was a hypocrite! Her pastor he further demanded was a "Practicing Homosexuals." Aghast, yet still polite, the elderly woman told him her was "mistaken or confused." The man became louder. He described the pastor's meticulous style down to a particular Kangoo cap he often sports. "A damn practicing homosexual, practicing, and that makes you and all the rest down there hypocrites for following..." At this point the younger woman tried to reason with the man, appeal to any sense of breeding that might be there, and pointed out that he was being disrespectful to the elderly woman. He got louder, shouting "practicing homosexual." The elderly woman still polite calmly to the man that she knew nothing of the claim "I attend church to praise God and ask for forgiveness and strength." She continued by asking if he attended church anywhere. "No," he yelled "I don't attend no man's church. Everyone of dem is filled with, you guessed it "practicing homosexual." He then rattled off the names of several city churches. The elderly woman stared and the other woman turned around and looked pleadingly at me.

I shrugged my shoulders as if to say "lady, I got nothin'." "Dude, STFU" would have only made things worse. The younger changed the subject to the weather, which the elderly woman latched onto, offering her prediction for the rest of the month. The man continued his rant for three blocks until his stop even though he was being ignored. 

After he got off the bus, the ladies continued chatting, never acknowledging the man's comments. They are better people than myself. This was four hours ago, and I still believe he was a nutjob jerk