Sorry, Was I In Your Way?

Yesterday, about a quarter to one, I decided to take a long walk and then have a very late lunch after that. It was very sunny with beautiful clear skies. About a half hour into my walk I found myself in front of a sedan. As I entered the crosswalk in front of the grocery store exit, I looked at the car and then the traffic light above; both were red. I proceeded and when I was directly in front of the car, BAM, the driver decided and did attempt a right turn. The driver had to be at least late 70’s - early ‘80’s. Not, that her age mattered, but her carelessness certainly did… I tried to break my fall with my left hand and nevertheless found myself in a most undignified sprawl on the hood of the car. Fortunately, I was wearing a new J&M blazer and Tom Ford cologne, but I digress. I looked up at the driver whose expression can only be described as very pissed. I struggled to get to my feet and the driver waited. She did not get out of the car; she just waited with a scowl. I was three-quarters of the way standing again when, the woman just completed her right turn and sped away. With my arms spread wide I demanded, “So, you’re just going to drive off?” Her answer was in her exhaust.



Livid, I made my way home. By the time I got there, I was experiencing a slight pain in the lower right side of my back. I took a couple pain relievers and took to the safety of my bed for a couple three hours and was right as rain thereafter. As I lay there I could not help thinking about the woman. I almost made excuses for her. I pondered that maybe she had been told that if she hit another person she would lose her license; maybe she was preoccupied with the loss of a loved one… (the favorite of her fourteen cats, perhaps); maybe the side effects of her current meds caused her to react as a hateful cow? I could not help thinking about the look on her face. It did not match any of my excuses for her. It was a look of contempt, inconvenience; as if to say “I got things to do. Get the F*** off my hood.” I wondered if that song writer was thinking about people like that when he wrote “I hope I die before I get old.” What a miserable way to be. To go about pissed off at someone because you hit them with your 2000 pound vehicle as a result of inattention or intention is a pretty sad way to be. Finally, in my thoughts I reached the conclusion that I was just glad that I wasn’t her.



For the most part I had little or no physical injuries, but I fear my faith in humans suffered a compound fracture.

...And People In Hell Want Ice Water.

This actually happened yesterday.


The scene is a local grocery store. The following is the one-sided conversation (which I overheard) of a middle-aged guy on his cell phone.


• “Listen, take a pitcher and dump some ice cubes and water in it and put it in the fridge.”

• “A water pitcher… There must be 4 or 5 there!”

• “Look again.”

• “‘cause I want it cold when I get there.”

• “A pitcher, for Pete’s sake. You can so find one!”

• “No, take the ice cubes out of the ice cube tray.”

• “What is there to be confused about?”

• “You can’t make ice water and you are graduating next month?”


(-Inaudible sounds much like a kid makes to indicate another kid is goofy, then rams the phone into his front jeans pocket and makes sounds not unlike a respirator.)


At this point, I so wanted to turn around and say “somebody needs a hug,” but I kinda figured he’d deck me.