Loud Mouths

For sometime I have been keeping mental notes about cell phone users. I mean cell phone users in public places. There are several types, you know? They are all entirely too loud. Most do not realize what a personal call is. They do not realize that "personal call" means between them and the other person(s) on the line. What they have to talk about while at times entertaining is really none of my business. Feel free to add to my list in the comment area. Also note that the quotes here are actual things that I have over heard. Here goes:

1. The Popular Guy - This guy is not necessarily popular but he wants you to think that he is. He smiles a lot while talking and visually scans the area to see who is actually listening. His conversations get funnier the "better" his captive audience. He is the type that might suggest that he was wanted for the new "Boys Gone While" video but he turned them down because he did not want to embarrass the other dudes. I actually heard one such popular guy say, " yeah, I did them both... the sister was kind of nasty."

2. The Gossip - This guy or gal will talk about anyone and everyone at anytime and loudly. I actually heard one young woman say, "oh, I heard he got out on Wednesday. She went to pick him up in dem ugly-ass Payless shoes..."

3. The Braggart - The Braggart is not to be confused with the Popular Guy although they can often be one in the same. The Braggart usually brags about a lot of stuff that no one believes or cares about. This usually involves women with something in their eye who he believed was winking at him. -can also involve alcohol. "dude, I musta had 25, no 33 shots last night and I wasn't hung over this morning."

4. Speaker Phone Gal - The speaker-phone is on and the other person is as loud as f**k! They do not know they are on speak phone or that an entire bus load of annoyed people can hear them. "He was 'bout to go to sleep and I told that bastard I didn't have anough."

5. Oblivious Bad Criminal - These two quotes can explain them. "dude, you know where I can get an 1/8 of 'cookies'" or " I almost got it... I'll give it to you. I need to get that gun tonight."

6. Booty Call Pavers - This is usually a young guy who awkwardly tries to set up a booty call for later on. "Thanks for comin' to visit me the other night. I have so much fun with you. I get off work at nine tonight..."

7. The Mumblers and the Grunters - You can't really tell what the heck they are talking about. As I said, they mumble and grunt. It is oh so annoying like when the radio is too low or your country uncle visits and talks about the old days.

8. Middle Aged Guy - This guy is still amazed by the technology. He keeps removing the phone from his ear and staring at it in amazement. He still can't believe there's no wire. He usually says good-bye at least three times followed up with, "she hung up."

-know any others?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

From time to time I have been accused of being a little less liberal than a modern society demands. As I see things everything is connected. People can not begin to teach manners and parent when youngins are pre-teens. You don't need a degree from that big school on the hill to figure this out. Who they are and will be are formed much earlier. This is all a preface to my amazement of the five H1N1 infested buggers (10-12 year olds) I encountered in the local library branch this past weekend.

Speaking of the flu, they all had it or some other upper respiratory ailment that caused them to cough, hack and wheeze as if someone was sitting on their respective chests. There were new signs posted about the library pleading with young and old alike to help stem the spread of germs. I counted at least a dozen signs that even demonstrated how to actually cover your nose and or cough in to the crook of your elbow. As well, the library now supplies hand sanitizer and tissues for public use. Nevertheless, as I searched the card catalog online this group of loud kids had gathered at the computer next to me. I assumed their motivation was to monitor who could cough on me the most. One young fellow who stood over his seated friend was standing so close to me that I adjusted myself several times to avoid his hack stream. And then... Then he coughed so violently with his mouth uncovered that I could feel droplets from his mouth on my left cheek and all over my big bald head. Geezus! After taking my pocket hanky and shamming myself down, I looked up at the kids who looked confused. The particular boy did not seem to know or care what he had done. I suggested that they; 1. use their inside voices and 2. cover their mouths when they coughed. This was mighty effective... not!

They began a conversation among themselves as if I weren't there. They first queried, "...who I thought I was talking to?" They then perceptively pointed out that I wasn't any body's father and as well lacked some sort of right(s) to correct behavior. I said nothing more to them. The librarian who had witnessed all this came over and told them that only two people were allowed at each computer at a time. She repeated this three times before anyone moved away and then only one person left. Once I put away thoughts of actually hunting them down should I become sick, I was rather annoyed.

Surely, this isn't the first time I've seen it but, I am often amazed that people don't teach basic manners and self-respect to their issue. Would these things also hamper "freedom" and "self-esteem" or some thing? How can we possibly expect children to blossom into mature responsible contributing adults when at 10 years of age they believe that they have the "right" to snot all over some old bald guy's head? How are we shocked when they do much worst when the corrective words of some one at least 30 years their senior are considered "fightin" words? -When they see no difference between themselves and their elders... when they do not believe they need to respect either?

I thank you for your honesty but...

Around a quarter to eight this morning I was walking about a half block from my doctor's office when a woman stopped me. She had been walking in the opposite direction. She was wearing an ankle length purple hooded parka as if it was the dead of winter and style had been conceded to warmth. Our conversation follows:

Woman: Sir, can I ask you a question? Um gonna be really honest with you. Um a alcoholic and um 'bout to drop right here. Kin you give me some money to get a beer?

Me: HUH?

(She waved her hand dismissively and I continued on to my appointment)