It seems that everyone these days are poised and ready to "get paid." This morning I witnessed a skateboard/vehicle "accident." I am not a skateboarder but, rather an old guy who notices stuff so, excuse my lack of appropriate lingo. The traffic light had just turned red as a woman in a late model SUV came to a stop. Bringing up the rear was a skateboarder. I imagine that he was a university student from his look and the area where we were. He came to a stop near the SUV's right bumper. As many skateboarders do, this particular young man tapped the edge of his board with his right foot in an attempt to catch the board. He missed the catch and the edge of the board grazed the rear door of the SUV. This left a mark that could probably be rubbed out with compound.
Now, here's the get paid part. The woman drove her SUV to the other side of the intersection, parked and got out; over sized earrings dangling and dollar signs in her eyes. "You hit my car," blah, blah, blah, was followed by the kid pleading for sanity. No harm had been done he thought and verbalized. How could that matter? The woman demanded his name and address and his parents names and address. A passerbyer (is that a word?)who had stopped supplied the paper. Before anyone knew it, the fire rescue and police were there. As the officer got out of his car the fireman walked over to the policeman. His head shaking and smiling the fireman recounted the incident for the officer. NO one was hurt they reported. The only injury was the thoughtless damage to the woman's SUV. The woman wanted a report and one was supplied... I had seen enough and moved on.
My initial thought was that this was about money. There was no real damage to the woman's car. Yes, she probably was proud of it and yes the kid should have been more careful but, what about the cost to city services incurred by calling police and fire to the scene of a five dollar vehicle accident? An who is going to pay what ever fictitious sum she will undoubted demand from the kid via his parents? I guess I already answered that.
It just seemed that as a culture we are poised to get paid. Not everything is someones fault. As well can't we excuse anything? And is money our only compensation for life's ups and downs. I don't think that people realize that the money for all of this frivolousness comes from some place. In addition, it makes it harder for people with legitimate claims to be compensated. The insurance company raises the rates of honest people to cover these law suits and innocent kids become a bit more jaded.
I can not tell you how many people gave me a cockeyed look when they learned that I did not sue the city when I had my accident. For those of you not in the know, I slipped on a patch of black ice which resulted in surgery, a permanent plate and eight screws and loads of physical therapy for my shattered ankle. At the time it just did not occur to me. It was the end of winter and there was ice. Fault and blame? I suppose had I known that it would have taken a year and a half to walk a block I might have made it some one's fault and got paid. This does not make me a better person, just a more realistic one in that I know the money had to come from somewhere and as well cities never forget. Maybe more of us should think twice before trying to get paid.
The kid was also late for class.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Dude, Where's my Hummer?
I wish I had a picture for you but, it all happened so fast. A small tow truck was barrelling down Genesee Street towards downtown this morning. The tow truck was hauling a black late model Hummer H3. The Hummer actually looked bigger than the truck that was towing it. I also noticed several traffic tickets under the Hummer's left wiper and a few sticking out of the driver's door. Behind the Hummer ran a college guy about 6", brawny and three-quarters naked. He wore only flip flops and short plaid boxers. He was running like there was no tomorrow. It did not take much to figure that that was his vehicle being towed.
I usually do my best to avoid actually enjoying someone elses pain but, this was too funny to watch. If I had run like that when I was on the track team back in the day it may not have been suggested that I find another sport. No matter... From the tickets I imagine the vehicle was parked illegally somewhere probably on campus for some time. So, the guy hadn't paid his tickets and was now going to do what? Did he intend to make the tow truck driver give him his vehicle back? Did he realize that he now had no car and would have to walk or run back to where he lived? It was only 56 degrees and breezy. I guess the only thing on his mind was that he needed to stop what was happening. Heartless bastard that I am I sat thinking of titles for the scene. How about, Baby You Can't Drive My Car, or When Bad Things Happen to Rich People, or Tickets... shoulda, woulda, coulda, or Damn, I was going to sleep until ten or my personal favorite, Dude, Where's My Hummer?
I usually do my best to avoid actually enjoying someone elses pain but, this was too funny to watch. If I had run like that when I was on the track team back in the day it may not have been suggested that I find another sport. No matter... From the tickets I imagine the vehicle was parked illegally somewhere probably on campus for some time. So, the guy hadn't paid his tickets and was now going to do what? Did he intend to make the tow truck driver give him his vehicle back? Did he realize that he now had no car and would have to walk or run back to where he lived? It was only 56 degrees and breezy. I guess the only thing on his mind was that he needed to stop what was happening. Heartless bastard that I am I sat thinking of titles for the scene. How about, Baby You Can't Drive My Car, or When Bad Things Happen to Rich People, or Tickets... shoulda, woulda, coulda, or Damn, I was going to sleep until ten or my personal favorite, Dude, Where's My Hummer?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Too much information
In my boredom the other night I found myself watching, "Style by Jury." The show takes the most unfortunate and saddest creatures and turns them into things of beauty within a half hours time span. They give them; new veneers for their teeth, Lasik vision care, clothes, hair, make up and they even go beyond most shows and try to address why the individual had all but given up. I couldn't even tell you what this particular shows theme was in that I was only half watching (reading the September issue of Forbes Life at the same time).
My attention was peaked when I heard the shows host comment about the woman's excessive sweating. The next scene was a medical doctor injecting Botox into the woman's arm pit. Huh? They really didn't explain how this was supposed to help very well. My trusty Google helped with that. Apparently, the Botox paralyzes the sweat glans. 84 out of 104 BOTOX® treated patients (81%) achieved a greater than 50% reduction in sweating—compared to only 44 out of 108 treated without BOTOX® (41%). (http://botoxseveresweating.com, Jan. 09) Well, I thought, at the most inopportune times I have been known to sweat like a whore in church. Maybe this is for me?
Then I thought back to a doctor's visit where the subject of perspiration was brought up by moi. The doctor told me that it was a good thing in that my system released toxins that might otherwise lead to illness or decease, even cancer. "Why, I don't want any of that," I thought. She added that the perspiration had to go some place. She asked if I would rather have the backs of my pants wet or clammy palms like that Eric guy or almost shooting from my head like excited Baptist deacons. I'll pass... I think that I'm just fine with my sweaty pits. Geez, you did read the title?
So, after researching the procedure it is apparent to me that it is pure madness. What if my doctor's a goof? Trust me, I have know a few. Botox is poison. Is it not possible that a mistake could be made and I would no longer be able to engage in a fan wave at athletic events? The site sited above also states, "BOTOX® may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening." Besides, the price range is $300.00 - $500.00 and it lasts six months. That kind of adds up doesn't? Isn't anti-perspirant, laundry detergent and social embarrassment cheaper and less risky?
My attention was peaked when I heard the shows host comment about the woman's excessive sweating. The next scene was a medical doctor injecting Botox into the woman's arm pit. Huh? They really didn't explain how this was supposed to help very well. My trusty Google helped with that. Apparently, the Botox paralyzes the sweat glans. 84 out of 104 BOTOX® treated patients (81%) achieved a greater than 50% reduction in sweating—compared to only 44 out of 108 treated without BOTOX® (41%). (http://botoxseveresweating.com, Jan. 09) Well, I thought, at the most inopportune times I have been known to sweat like a whore in church. Maybe this is for me?
Then I thought back to a doctor's visit where the subject of perspiration was brought up by moi. The doctor told me that it was a good thing in that my system released toxins that might otherwise lead to illness or decease, even cancer. "Why, I don't want any of that," I thought. She added that the perspiration had to go some place. She asked if I would rather have the backs of my pants wet or clammy palms like that Eric guy or almost shooting from my head like excited Baptist deacons. I'll pass... I think that I'm just fine with my sweaty pits. Geez, you did read the title?
So, after researching the procedure it is apparent to me that it is pure madness. What if my doctor's a goof? Trust me, I have know a few. Botox is poison. Is it not possible that a mistake could be made and I would no longer be able to engage in a fan wave at athletic events? The site sited above also states, "BOTOX® may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening." Besides, the price range is $300.00 - $500.00 and it lasts six months. That kind of adds up doesn't? Isn't anti-perspirant, laundry detergent and social embarrassment cheaper and less risky?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Kind Thoughts... for sale
I was in the bookstore the other day. I glanced about the self-help aisle. I should acknowledge that I have never had much respect for this genre. I do realize that some are helped by the kind words and deep thought of others but, mostly I think that the truck just makes the author a bit of money. After I returned home I sat down and tried to come up with chapters or topics for my own money making deep thought book. I started by thinking in terms of what I have learned or has been in the forefront of my thoughts in the past week.
1. Wheat Germ works far better than I thought, especially in meat loaf. (ah no, it's not a metaphor)
2. It's true... everything that you need to know someone else has already learned.
3. Before you know it, it will be Fall again.
4. Little things make me happy, a lot of them.
5. A 42L blazer fits better than a 44R so, why pretend?
6. Fresh Apple pie cures most ills
7. Not everything is your fault or your problem.
8. Skinny jeans should have a size ceiling
9. You can't make other people happy. You don't have to be a pain in there bums either but, you can't make them happy.
10. You can make the best choices for yourself. Other people think that they can but, they are wrong.
11. Things happen when they are supposed to happen and not before!
12. Consuming a small piece of homemade chocolate cake is always better than "diet" anything.
13. Janis Ian was right, people do want to drag you down in to the hole where they are coming from.
14. Never expect any one person to be everything to you. That leads to obsession and other creepy things.
Anywho, that is where I got... And much like most of those other books it is all stuff that if you had the time or desire to process you would or may already know. The difference here will be that the royalties will go to me since it will most likely be self-published and sold from the back of an early 90's Ford Taurus station wagon at a flee market/fair near you. Excuse me I must go and bellow my demon laugh while wringing my hands.
1. Wheat Germ works far better than I thought, especially in meat loaf. (ah no, it's not a metaphor)
2. It's true... everything that you need to know someone else has already learned.
3. Before you know it, it will be Fall again.
4. Little things make me happy, a lot of them.
5. A 42L blazer fits better than a 44R so, why pretend?
6. Fresh Apple pie cures most ills
7. Not everything is your fault or your problem.
8. Skinny jeans should have a size ceiling
9. You can't make other people happy. You don't have to be a pain in there bums either but, you can't make them happy.
10. You can make the best choices for yourself. Other people think that they can but, they are wrong.
11. Things happen when they are supposed to happen and not before!
12. Consuming a small piece of homemade chocolate cake is always better than "diet" anything.
13. Janis Ian was right, people do want to drag you down in to the hole where they are coming from.
14. Never expect any one person to be everything to you. That leads to obsession and other creepy things.
Anywho, that is where I got... And much like most of those other books it is all stuff that if you had the time or desire to process you would or may already know. The difference here will be that the royalties will go to me since it will most likely be self-published and sold from the back of an early 90's Ford Taurus station wagon at a flee market/fair near you. Excuse me I must go and bellow my demon laugh while wringing my hands.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
A cup half full
This may come as a surprise to my gentle readers but, I am an eternal optimist. I do so believe that the sun will come up tomorrow, that the cup is half full and that that is a light at the end of the tunnel rather than an on-coming train. I could come up with other trite sayings but, I've had to recently lay off workers at my metaphor factor, Meta-Les.
I whine more than I should but this does not mean that over all I don't see the bright side of things. As you may have already noticed I am greatly affected by the sun. The less there is the more I whine. I however end each day the same. I count my blessings. And you know what? I always end up far ahead. I count them great and small although they all seem great. Most of us just look for the big stuff; love, money etc. I would have you know that it is all big stuff. Being able to walk, enjoy the sunshine, have a roast come out perfectly, be able to serve another, they are all blessings. The key to seeing your blessings is that you must learn to see the positive in all things. I do realize that this is easier on some days rather than on others. The way to do this is to as much as you can ignore the bad. By that I mean that which you can do nothing about. So, ignore what you can do nothing about and capitalize on the pluses and you will find so much more positive about you. We often miss blessings because we concentrate on what we don't have or things not being the way we want them to be.
Things not being the way we want them to be... I have learned that many times that the way we would like things to be are not actually best for us. As well, there are always lessons in the way things are but, that's a topic for another time. In my few years on this planet I have learned that the most incredible things have happened when I have concentrated on the positive.
I remember a time in graduate school when my stipend check was very late, very late. The Registrar's office had filled my checks under Iii. My name is of course Lester Bryant III. One might believe that they should have know that no one has the last name Iii but, it took three and a half months to straighten things out. The more I persisted the more the problem seemed to be less of a priority for them. I lost 34 pounds during this period. I made it through by being an optimist deep down. On one particular day during this period I got a notice from the landlord to pay-up or else. I had no idea what to do. As I stared out the window I noticed how bright and sunny it was. I decided on instinct to go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine. It at least was free. I was weak and it did take some effort to get down the three fights of stairs, but I did. I walked two blocks and crossed the street. When I entered the middle of the intersection I noticed what seemed to be money. I looked about and this was Saturday, a day when from five directions there would be busy traffic and people walking. There was no traffic and no people as far as I could see. I thought this odd and thought it even odder that rolled tightly in the middle of the street were four one hundred dollar bills. I picked up the money and looked in every direction... not a soul. It was as if it was there for me or rather my landlord. Perhaps the moral of the story was that we should always look up even when we're looking down. I certainly counted the walk and the money among my blessing that day! I have about a hundred stories like that one where there was a great blessing just waiting for me. I guess what I am saying is that blessings are every where and often we miss them by concentrating on the negative, how things are not. Blessings, look for them and count them all often.
Speaking of optimism, today is primary day... go vote!
I whine more than I should but this does not mean that over all I don't see the bright side of things. As you may have already noticed I am greatly affected by the sun. The less there is the more I whine. I however end each day the same. I count my blessings. And you know what? I always end up far ahead. I count them great and small although they all seem great. Most of us just look for the big stuff; love, money etc. I would have you know that it is all big stuff. Being able to walk, enjoy the sunshine, have a roast come out perfectly, be able to serve another, they are all blessings. The key to seeing your blessings is that you must learn to see the positive in all things. I do realize that this is easier on some days rather than on others. The way to do this is to as much as you can ignore the bad. By that I mean that which you can do nothing about. So, ignore what you can do nothing about and capitalize on the pluses and you will find so much more positive about you. We often miss blessings because we concentrate on what we don't have or things not being the way we want them to be.
Things not being the way we want them to be... I have learned that many times that the way we would like things to be are not actually best for us. As well, there are always lessons in the way things are but, that's a topic for another time. In my few years on this planet I have learned that the most incredible things have happened when I have concentrated on the positive.
I remember a time in graduate school when my stipend check was very late, very late. The Registrar's office had filled my checks under Iii. My name is of course Lester Bryant III. One might believe that they should have know that no one has the last name Iii but, it took three and a half months to straighten things out. The more I persisted the more the problem seemed to be less of a priority for them. I lost 34 pounds during this period. I made it through by being an optimist deep down. On one particular day during this period I got a notice from the landlord to pay-up or else. I had no idea what to do. As I stared out the window I noticed how bright and sunny it was. I decided on instinct to go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine. It at least was free. I was weak and it did take some effort to get down the three fights of stairs, but I did. I walked two blocks and crossed the street. When I entered the middle of the intersection I noticed what seemed to be money. I looked about and this was Saturday, a day when from five directions there would be busy traffic and people walking. There was no traffic and no people as far as I could see. I thought this odd and thought it even odder that rolled tightly in the middle of the street were four one hundred dollar bills. I picked up the money and looked in every direction... not a soul. It was as if it was there for me or rather my landlord. Perhaps the moral of the story was that we should always look up even when we're looking down. I certainly counted the walk and the money among my blessing that day! I have about a hundred stories like that one where there was a great blessing just waiting for me. I guess what I am saying is that blessings are every where and often we miss them by concentrating on the negative, how things are not. Blessings, look for them and count them all often.
Speaking of optimism, today is primary day... go vote!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Fight Club (2009)
If you never saw the movie, "Fight Club" skip this one.
Standing on the bus yesterday afternoon was a tall kid of maybe 16 or 17 years of age. He was athletic, wirery and appeared very confident. He had a scar on his face. The scar was much like a thin backwards Nike swoosh which extended from about the middle of his left ear, over his high cheek bone to his nose. Oddly, the scar seemed all him, totally natural as if it had always been there. It wasn't raised but, rather appeared almost as if it were drawn on although, I think not.
As more people boarded the bus the kid could no longer lean against the railing near the driver. He now stood in the middle of the aisle with his back to me. I only then noticed his teal blue shirt which looked new. It was short-sleeved with epaulets. Across the back (I think this is called the yoke) between his shoulders a white piece of cottony fabric was stitched onto the shirt. That piece of fabric had the two inch words, "FIGHT CLUB" embroidered with navy thread.
You probably have already figured out where I'm going here. FIGHT CLUB? Why isn't the first rule of Fight Club that you don't talk about Fight Club? Boy is that kid in trouble. If there's some sort of certain hell to pay for speaking of Fight Club, what punishment will this lad incur for advertising for Fight Club? In addition, advertising in teal blue can't help his case either. Who am I to judge but, maybe confidence and the scar was all he needed to signify his membership in Fight Club? It's a different day however, I still believe that Mr.'s Pitt and Norton would not approve of any of this. Geez, the kid probably even Twitters about Fight Club.
Standing on the bus yesterday afternoon was a tall kid of maybe 16 or 17 years of age. He was athletic, wirery and appeared very confident. He had a scar on his face. The scar was much like a thin backwards Nike swoosh which extended from about the middle of his left ear, over his high cheek bone to his nose. Oddly, the scar seemed all him, totally natural as if it had always been there. It wasn't raised but, rather appeared almost as if it were drawn on although, I think not.
As more people boarded the bus the kid could no longer lean against the railing near the driver. He now stood in the middle of the aisle with his back to me. I only then noticed his teal blue shirt which looked new. It was short-sleeved with epaulets. Across the back (I think this is called the yoke) between his shoulders a white piece of cottony fabric was stitched onto the shirt. That piece of fabric had the two inch words, "FIGHT CLUB" embroidered with navy thread.
You probably have already figured out where I'm going here. FIGHT CLUB? Why isn't the first rule of Fight Club that you don't talk about Fight Club? Boy is that kid in trouble. If there's some sort of certain hell to pay for speaking of Fight Club, what punishment will this lad incur for advertising for Fight Club? In addition, advertising in teal blue can't help his case either. Who am I to judge but, maybe confidence and the scar was all he needed to signify his membership in Fight Club? It's a different day however, I still believe that Mr.'s Pitt and Norton would not approve of any of this. Geez, the kid probably even Twitters about Fight Club.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Weed
For some odd reason I spent the weekend gardening. The idea popped in to my obsessive big head on Friday. It was great exercise waling a pick ax and other tools. The side of the house which is on a hill has eroded terribly. It needs topsoil and mulch. I also discovered that gardening can be very peaceful and cleansing. The Hostas under the great blue spruce are growing awkwardly. The ones on the right side are fine and on the other they are dwarfed. I imagine because of the size of the tree this has happened. The tree must be at least 70 years old and 30-40 feet tall althought, I am not great at judging height. The Hostas... Hostas tend to grow almost anywhere and to great sizes. Maybe the tree roots are taking all the water and nourishment. Also, the side where they are considerably smaller the ground begins its slope downward. Any ideas let me know.
Anyway, there is a great deal more to be done. My injury has prevented me from dealing with the area that slopes down and finally borders the next property. The old gal next door died more than a year ago and the house remains empty. The adjoining hedges look like crap. Weed trees have grown up among them. I'm not really sure who owns the house now but, I do know it is empty and no one is really tending to the property. Some one comes on occasion and trims the lawn but, the beautifully cared for property has not been tended to since she died. Relatives of hers came immediately after her death and dug up many plantings and took them away but...
As I worked it kind of gave me pause. Nature in it's natural state (at least about where we live) is seen as ugly and must be replaced with manicured greens and perfect gardens... How nature fights with us to return to it's natural state but, we fight back with rakes, hoes, weed killers, and our backs because we know better?
Anyway, there is a great deal more to be done. My injury has prevented me from dealing with the area that slopes down and finally borders the next property. The old gal next door died more than a year ago and the house remains empty. The adjoining hedges look like crap. Weed trees have grown up among them. I'm not really sure who owns the house now but, I do know it is empty and no one is really tending to the property. Some one comes on occasion and trims the lawn but, the beautifully cared for property has not been tended to since she died. Relatives of hers came immediately after her death and dug up many plantings and took them away but...
As I worked it kind of gave me pause. Nature in it's natural state (at least about where we live) is seen as ugly and must be replaced with manicured greens and perfect gardens... How nature fights with us to return to it's natural state but, we fight back with rakes, hoes, weed killers, and our backs because we know better?
Friday, September 4, 2009
What a world, what a world...
At least a couple three times a week a gentleman of about sixty is at my bus stop as I walk up. He uses one of those three pronged canes for balance and is very friendly. Like many his age he has learned enough about life to know that a sunny disposition takes you farther. As well, he offers a bit too much sage advice for so early in the morning. This is my problem and not his of course. It's just early. This morning's advice was about patience. I should have been listening more intently but... Any way on the whole he is a very pleasant fellow and it is always nice to run in to him.
As we stood waiting more than a few cars zoomed by on their way to their day. It was only after a while that I noticed that people in the cars were giggling, laughing and even pointing in our direction. Some appeared as if they were viewing a creature from another planet or something. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. I looked at the gentleman and myself for clues. Was one or both of our flies down? Had a bird pooped on my bald head? What was it? An then it hit me. The gentleman is no more than four feet tall. I was suddenly filled with embarrassment and anger. What moronic jackasses people can be. How is a person's height cause for ridicule, curiosity or pointing and laughter? I felt really bad. The gentleman noticed and said, "it's alright, it does not bother me anymore." Then I felt worse when I started to think that he must go through this all day every day. He smiled and added that his brother was 6' 6". "What he must go through," he added.
As we stood waiting more than a few cars zoomed by on their way to their day. It was only after a while that I noticed that people in the cars were giggling, laughing and even pointing in our direction. Some appeared as if they were viewing a creature from another planet or something. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. I looked at the gentleman and myself for clues. Was one or both of our flies down? Had a bird pooped on my bald head? What was it? An then it hit me. The gentleman is no more than four feet tall. I was suddenly filled with embarrassment and anger. What moronic jackasses people can be. How is a person's height cause for ridicule, curiosity or pointing and laughter? I felt really bad. The gentleman noticed and said, "it's alright, it does not bother me anymore." Then I felt worse when I started to think that he must go through this all day every day. He smiled and added that his brother was 6' 6". "What he must go through," he added.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
September
Wow, where did the summer go. August flew by and was too hot for me. Too hot to blog as you may have noticed. Today, is my perfect kind of weather, 75 and sunny. I am further convinced that I must find a place on this planet where it is 75 and sunny year around. If not here then on my home planet.
Anywho, be back later now that it's cooler. -Off to do errands. Have a fantastic Labor day weekend!
Anywho, be back later now that it's cooler. -Off to do errands. Have a fantastic Labor day weekend!